It's Not Free: 5 Decisions That Can Change Your Life and Make You Happier
We've all encountered those folks who always seem cheerful, no matter what's going on in their lives. Maybe you think these individuals are born with a sunny disposition, or that they simply get fortunate in life, or that their parents must be perfect. In most cases, this is completely untrue.
Individuals who report high levels of happiness have consciously chosen to alter the way they approach problems. People who consistently report high levels of happiness have made a deliberate effort to cultivate positive attitudes and habits. People who are unhappy have subconscious thoughts and actions that contribute to their discontent.
Happiness may be traced back to five distinct decisions:
Optimism
Positive thinkers perceive things in an optimistic light, whereas pessimists prefer to focus on the negative. Becoming an optimist is a deliberate mental stance that may change one's outlook on life for the better. People who choose to see the bright side of life are the ones who really do. Happy individuals take command by letting their loving adult self make decisions rather than their ego-wounded self, which tends to focus on the negative aspects of life. Those who consistently report high levels of happiness are those who understand that their thoughts are the catalyst for a stream of originality that ultimately manifests in their lives. They motivate themselves to take the actions necessary to make their aspirations a reality via the power of positive thinking.
Kindness
The secret to happiness is choosing to treat yourself and others with kindness and compassion. Successful individuals know that their mood is heavily influenced by their treatment of themselves and others. People who are really content with their lives don't wait till they feel good about themselves before they treat themselves and others with kindness. They have an epiphany that their positive emotions are a byproduct of their selfless actions rather than the catalysts for them. Whether or not they're in the mood, they act with kindness, compassion, and care for others. They're content since they made that decision on their own.
Forgiveness
Contented individuals don't hold grudges, even towards those who have wronged them. They've learned the hard way that holding a grudge only makes them miserable, so they've resolved to see the good in others and forgive them for being imperfect. People who are generally upbeat are less likely to have their emotions harmed by the callous actions of others. Happy people are able to have compassion for themselves and others when they think about the person behind the action instead of the action itself.
Acceptance
Contained individuals have a healthy perspective on the things they can and cannot change. The Serenity Prayer is their guiding principle, and it helps them deal with life's ups and downs. Unhappy individuals refuse to accept their helplessness and continually strive to alter the people and events in their lives. This leads to ongoing feelings of exasperation on their part. Since happy individuals know they can't influence the actions of others or the results of situations, they concentrate on the things they can change: their own attitudes and actions. Accepting what they can and cannot change leads to happiness and contentment.
Gratitude
Last but not least, contented individuals seldom, if ever, whine about their predicament and always focus on the positives in their lives. They appreciate the little things in life, from the scenery to the cuisine to the company to the simple gifts of sight, hearing, movement, and speech. People who lack the abilities of sight, hearing, speech, or legs may still find joy in life by concentrating on what they have and what they can do instead of dwelling on what they lack.
To be happy, one must realize that one's own thoughts and actions produce happiness rather than the other way around. Regardless of your current situation, you may change into a happy person by learning to recognize the kinds of thoughts and actions that bring you joy. You have to make an effort to be happy.